A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge

Be The Change You Wish To See

Eat healthy, exercise more, still die

Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes

I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant

I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?

If you hate me, i love you too. Its n't my fault i'm better than you

I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!

Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end

Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already

No fear! (NAME) is here!

Not me, not now, maybe later...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

Politicians prefer unarmed peasants

Smile and the world smiles with you

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..

Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me

Statistics are used by people who have no proof

The rich get richer and the poor get children

The road to success is always under construction

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

This isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting

Those who know do not say, those who say do not know

Trying is the first step towards failure

Unite against togetherness!

War does not determine who is right... but who is left

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Work harder: People on welfare depend on you